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Saturday 28 February 2015
Friday 27 February 2015
Wednesday 25 February 2015
Tuesday 24 February 2015
Monday 23 February 2015
Sunday 22 February 2015
Saturday 21 February 2015
Friday 20 February 2015
Thursday 19 February 2015
Wednesday 18 February 2015
Monday 16 February 2015
Saturday 14 February 2015
Thursday 12 February 2015
Wednesday 11 February 2015
Tuesday 10 February 2015
Sunday 8 February 2015
Friday 6 February 2015
On the roof of a very
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is
mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the
ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof.
Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my
people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn.
The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people"
and then throws the white guy off the roof.
A mother is in the kitchen
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her
daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and
Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their
bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the
daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby,
honey.” The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had
daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
A child asked his father,
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said,
"Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made
babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the
same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to
become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You
lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her
side of the family."
A family is at the dinner table
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a
woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still
nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son
asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his
wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of
willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes
through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas
tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are
just for decoration.”
Roses are red.
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
The teacher asked Jimmy
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy
replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to
eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
A husband and wife are trying
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their
computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground
laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
69
I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, "No, but I have
done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
Wednesday 4 February 2015
A sardar went 2 Pizza Hut
A sardar went 2 Pizza Hut.There he
ordered a Pizza.The waiter asked him:sir shell i cut it into 4 pieces
or 8 pieces.Sardar replied:o 4 hi le aa yaar 8 to nahin khaye jayein gy.
Son:papa 5+5 how much
Son:papa 5+5 how much
Sardar:Ullehke patte, gadhe ke aulath, nalayath, besharam, tujhe kuchbi nahi ata,
ja jake andarse caliculater la
Sardar:Ullehke patte, gadhe ke aulath, nalayath, besharam, tujhe kuchbi nahi ata,
ja jake andarse caliculater la
Sardar: aapaan te roti
Sardar: aapaan te roti roz kukar nal khaee dee a!
Dost: es mehngaee vich keevain?
Sardar: ek burkee aap khaee dee a te ek kukar noo pai dee a!
Dost: es mehngaee vich keevain?
Sardar: ek burkee aap khaee dee a te ek kukar noo pai dee a!
Ek Sardar Bench par Leta howa tha,
Ek Sardar Bench par Leta howa tha,
Wahan se ek Angrez guzra aur Sardar se Poocha:
Are u relaxing?
Sardar:No, I am Ranjeet Singh!
Phir dobara ek Angrez guzra aur us ne bhi yehi poocha:
Are u relaxing?
Sardar Ghussay se:
No, I am Ranjeet Singh!!
Aur yeh keh k uth gaya aur apne se kuch door Laitay huwe Angrez se bola:
Are u relaxing?
Angrez: Yes, I am relaxing.
Sardar:Thapar mar k, Kaminay tu Idher Leta hay, wahan tujhy itny log Dhondh Rahe hain
Wahan se ek Angrez guzra aur Sardar se Poocha:
Are u relaxing?
Sardar:No, I am Ranjeet Singh!
Phir dobara ek Angrez guzra aur us ne bhi yehi poocha:
Are u relaxing?
Sardar Ghussay se:
No, I am Ranjeet Singh!!
Aur yeh keh k uth gaya aur apne se kuch door Laitay huwe Angrez se bola:
Are u relaxing?
Angrez: Yes, I am relaxing.
Sardar:Thapar mar k, Kaminay tu Idher Leta hay, wahan tujhy itny log Dhondh Rahe hain
ak jaga baraat pa pabandi lag gi
ak jaga baraat pa pabandi lag gi
sardaroon ko pta chala wo saza dany chly gy
kali sahi lee or sabko lone ma laga kr moo kaly krny lagy
ak baraati bar bar line tur kr agy aa kr khta sadar: ji mra moo kala kroo
sadar: chal wapis
ak bar phr aa gya
sadar: phr bola chal waps
turi dhr bad phr aa gya sadar ji mara moo kala kroo
sadar: ki gal ay tanoo kadi jaldi ay
baraati: manoo pta ay sahi khtmm hoi ty tusi chater marny shroo ka do gy
sardaroon ko pta chala wo saza dany chly gy
kali sahi lee or sabko lone ma laga kr moo kaly krny lagy
ak baraati bar bar line tur kr agy aa kr khta sadar: ji mra moo kala kroo
sadar: chal wapis
ak bar phr aa gya
sadar: phr bola chal waps
turi dhr bad phr aa gya sadar ji mara moo kala kroo
sadar: ki gal ay tanoo kadi jaldi ay
baraati: manoo pta ay sahi khtmm hoi ty tusi chater marny shroo ka do gy
Sardar Ek Baraf Ka Tukra
Sardar Ek Baraf Ka Tukra Utha Ker Usey Ghour Se Dekh Raha Tha...
Admi:- Kya Dekh Rahe Ho???
Sardar:- Dekh Raha Hoon Key Yeh Leak Kahan Se Ker Raha Hai
Admi:- Kya Dekh Rahe Ho???
Sardar:- Dekh Raha Hoon Key Yeh Leak Kahan Se Ker Raha Hai
Murim Sardar Wakeel SE
Murim Sardar Wakeel SE
Mujrim : Koshish karna k mujhe sazai maout na ho .umer quaid bhalle ho jai...
SArdar wakell after case :
Mujrim : case ka kia bna
SArdar wakeeel : buhat mushkil se umer quaid hoi he warna judge to tumhen riha kar rha tha ..
Mujrim : Koshish karna k mujhe sazai maout na ho .umer quaid bhalle ho jai...
SArdar wakell after case :
Mujrim : case ka kia bna
SArdar wakeeel : buhat mushkil se umer quaid hoi he warna judge to tumhen riha kar rha tha ..
aik din aik sardar
aik din aik sardar sho mai beta howa ta wo jo sho karraha ta us ke bat us par bohut hoob lage &
us nai sho kar nai wala say kaha aw chalai langar kai leyi jab o darwazai tak phonch giya to us nai kely ka chelka deka us nai apny aap say kaha aj phir pesalna paryga !) RAUF AFRIDI(
us nai sho kar nai wala say kaha aw chalai langar kai leyi jab o darwazai tak phonch giya to us nai kely ka chelka deka us nai apny aap say kaha aj phir pesalna paryga !) RAUF AFRIDI(
Police:Humein Ap k ghar
Police:Humein Ap k ghar ki talashi leni hy,pta chala hy k apke ghr main khatarnak Bomb hy.
.
.
.
Sardar:Khabar to pakki hy
magar aj woh Maikey gai hui hy
.
.
.
Sardar:Khabar to pakki hy
magar aj woh Maikey gai hui hy
Sardar ke bagiche me bahut sare ped the,
Sardar ke bagiche me bahut sare ped the,
Sardar naukar ko bola ped ko pani dal.
Naukar bola saab barish aah raha hai,
Sardar: abe budhu chhatri pakadke dal na!
Sardar naukar ko bola ped ko pani dal.
Naukar bola saab barish aah raha hai,
Sardar: abe budhu chhatri pakadke dal na!
Monday 2 February 2015
Yukta Mookhey
Date of Birth (Birthday): 7 October, 1979Zodiac Sign: Libra
Height: 5'11"
Hair Color: Black
Birth Place: Mumbai
Education: Studied Zoology from Kelkar College
Marital Status: Single
Languages: Hindi, English
Contact Address: 1103/B Sky Pan Oberoi Complex, Near SAB TV Office Off Link Road, Near Laxmi Industrial Estate, Andheri (W), Mumbai 400 053
Family Background
Father's Name: Inderlal - the managing director of Ragz Clothing Company
Mother's Name: Aruna - she runs a grooming workshop, Swiss Chalet, at Santa Cruz
Brother(s): younger brother Kanwal
Yami Gautam
Yami Gautam (born November 28, 1988) is an Indian film and television
actress. Her initial appearances were on Indian television commercials
and soap operas like Chand Ke Paar Chalo and Yeh Pyar Na Hoga Kam.In 2010, she made her cinematic debut with Kannada film Ullasa Utsaha, co-starring Ganesh. In 2012, Gautam made her Bollywood debut in Shoojit Sircar's romantic comedy Vicky Donor, which touched on the topic of sperm donation. Upon release, the film was a critical and commercial success, and Gautam gained positive reviews for her performance.Gautam was 20 when she moved to Mumbai to pursue a career in movies. She made her television debut with Chand Ke Paar Chalo, which was followed by Raajkumar Aaryyan. Following this, she played her most notable role in Yeh Pyar Na Hoga Kam,which aired on Colors.Furthermore, she participated in the reality shows Meethi Choori No.1 and Kitchen Champion Season 1.
Gautam made her film debut in Kannada film Ullasa Utsaha. Whilst the film failed at the box office, Gautam received positive reviews for her performance.
Gautam later made her Bollywood debut with Vicky Donor, in which she starred opposite Ayushmann Khurrana.She played the role of Bengali girl Ashima Roy, a girl who falls in love with a Punjabi boy with a past. Despite its small budget, the movie became a major commercial success and received critical appreciation.Gautam received appreciation for her performance. Taran Adarsh writes "Yami Gautam makes an imposing debut. She adds enormous value to the movie by her act, screen presence and striking looks. She's truly admirable towards the latter part of the film."Madhureeta Mukherjee adds that Gautam "is a sheer delight to watch, emoting effortlessly."
In 2012, she featured on the cover page of Prevention (magazine)and Wedding Affair which discussed her life, personality and interest in Hot yoga.[13] Furthermore, she featured on the cover of Femina (magazine) November 2012 issue.
She made her Tamil debut with Gouravam directed by Radha Mohan, which was also shot in Telugu.
Gautam is currently filming for Tamilselvanum Thaniyar Anjalum, Courier Boy Kalyan and Aman Ki Asha. In Aman Ki Asha she plays a Punjabi in love with a Pakistani boy.
Vidya Balan
Vidya Balan (Tamil: வித்யா பாலன்; born 1 January 1978)[1] is an Indian
actress, who appears in Hindi films. After graduating with a degree in
sociology, she started her career starring in music videos, television
shows and commercials, before appearing in feature films.Balan made her movie debut in the Bengali film, Bhalo Theko in 2003. She later made her Hindi film debut with Parineeta (2005), which earned her a Filmfare Award for Best Female Debut as well as her first Best Actress nomination at the same ceremony. She subsequently essayed a variety of character roles, receiving her first commercial success with Rajkumar Hirani's Lage Raho Munna Bhai (2006). She subsequently appeared in such films as Guru (2007), Heyy Babyy and Bhool Bhulaiya (both 2008), the latter earning her another Filmfare nomination.[2]
In 2009 she appeared as a single mother of a child suffering from progeria in R. Balki's Paa, her performance in which ultimately won her a Best Actress award at Filmfare. 2010 saw the release of Ishqiya, starring Balan in a role for which she was praised and awarded, and a year later she followed it with two real-life characters—Sabrina Lal and Silk Smitha—in the biopics No One Killed Jessica and The Dirty Picture, respectively.
veena malik
Veena Malik (Urdu: وينا ملک, born 26 February 1984 as Zahida Malik) is a
Pakistani actress, model and comedienne. Over a span of ten years, she
has worked with news serials and movies.Veena Malik was born into a
Muslim family in Rawalpindi in the province of Punjab, Pakistan to Ali
Malik, and his wife, Zeenat Malik.She holds a BA in Sociology,
Psychology and PersianBefore starting her career off as an actress,
Malik worked as a comedian for several television shows and series. She
made her acting debut alongside Shaan and Zara Sheikh in Askari's Tere
Pyar Mein (2000), which was a box office hit. She played a supporting
role in the film and was barely acknowledged. However, she appeared in a
supporting role in Javed Sheikh's Yeh Dil Aap Ka Huwa (2002).Veena Malik in Lahore, Pakistan in 2011.
In 2003, Malik appeared in Indo-Pak cross venture Punjabi film Pind Di Kuri which failed to do so well, however, the film turned out be the first Indo-Pak venture film with a budget of approximately 70 million rupees. She also appeared in Askari's Sassi Punno (2003) alongside Sana and Moammar Rana, however the film failed to do well at Lahore's cinemas and further screenings had stopped in cinemas after a week of its release. She then appeared in Rafique's Jageer.
In 2005, she appeared in a short Punjabi film Bau Badmash (2005) which did not garner any recognition due to the lack of big stars. She then appeared in Reema Khan's Koi Tujh Sa Kahan (2005) which was a commercial success in Pakistan.
Vaani Kapoor
Vaani Kapoor (born August 23, 1988) is an Indian actress and model.Kapoor debuted on television in the series called Rajuben. She later signed a three movie deal with Yash Raj Films. Kapoor was picked through an audition to play the second lead in the Shuddh Desi Romance.It was released on 6 September 2013 to positive reviews.Her next release was the romantic comedy Aaha Kalyanam, a remake of Band Baaja Baraat. She signed a deal to endorse Lux range of bodywash Products.
Vaani Kapoor was born in Delhi, India. Her father is a furniture exports entrepreneur and her mother is a teacher-turned marketing executive. She has an elder sister who is married and settled in Netherlands. She did her schooling from Mata Jai Kaur Public School, Ashok Vihar in North Delhi. Later, she enrolled in IGNOU, completing a bachelor’s degree in tourism studies, after which she took up an internship with Oberoi Hotels
Urmila Matondkar
Date of Birth (Birthday): 4 February, 1974
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
Height: 5'4"
Hair Color: Black
Birth Place: Bombay
Education: Pune University
Marital Status: Single
Languages: Hindi, English
Contact Address: Casablanca Bldg., Versova, Andheri (E), Mumbai 400 058
Interesting Facts About Urmila Matondkar
* Urmila Matondkar lent her voice for Asha Bhonsle's album Asha and Friends Vol 1.
* Urmila Matondkar is an outstanding dancer.
* Aishwarya represented India in The Cannes Film Festival in 2006.
* Aishwarya won Miss World contest in 1994.
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
Height: 5'4"
Hair Color: Black
Birth Place: Bombay
Education: Pune University
Marital Status: Single
Languages: Hindi, English
Contact Address: Casablanca Bldg., Versova, Andheri (E), Mumbai 400 058
Interesting Facts About Urmila Matondkar
* Urmila Matondkar lent her voice for Asha Bhonsle's album Asha and Friends Vol 1.
* Urmila Matondkar is an outstanding dancer.
* Aishwarya represented India in The Cannes Film Festival in 2006.
* Aishwarya won Miss World contest in 1994.
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